Analogize This!

One of my goals is to contribute in some small way to the growth in popularity of soccer (or “football” everywhere else in the world) in the United States. True as it may be, pointing out that soccer is the world’s most popular game in every country other the United States is a little tired.

Rather than focus on why Americans don’t look at soccer the way most Europeans do, let’s look at some similarities between sports and celebrity culture in the two regions. Both Europeans and Americans love sports and, by extension, the superstar athletes that play them. We are so fascinated by sports figures that details of their daily dealings regularly extend beyond the sports section and spill onto the front page and the tabloids. Despicable as he is, O.J. Simpson is not the first person in America to brutally kill people (allegedly). Kobe Bryant was not the first American man to have his named dragged through the mud by an avaricious woman. And yet we care. Deeply. We tune in for low-speed chases, watch 10-second clips of arraignments and “news” conferences that are little more than a series of clichés without any real content. We watch and we care. Why? Because anything we see from these people away from the field of play gives us a window into a party that we are simply not invited to, but desperately want to crash.

I watch ESPN and I’ve see the competitive lumberjacking, the World Series of Dominoes and competitive eating, but I cannot find a score to the Barcelona or Arsenal match to save my life. I can’t help but wonder why. America love sports, celebrities, and to exploit the resources of other countries! How is it that our national interest in these pastimes has not crossed over into soccer? Stars of the “beautiful game” are celebrated to a degree that American athletes cannot begin to imagine. Ronaldinho, Brazilian superstar, champion at FC Barcelona, and the best player in the world, receives the same treatment that Brett Favre does in Green Bay, WI, only on an international scale. It doesn’t have to be a slow news day in Barcelona for fans to know what he had for lunch! We dig this stuff!

The sport of soccer, as well as its great players past and present is not significantly different from those that Americans have followed so closely for generations. International soccer has produced countless compelling storylines over the decades:

• Pele (Brazil) & Michael Jordan (Chicago Bulls)- Simply put, these are the most perfect players to grace the field of play in each of their respective games. In terms of individual brilliance, highlight reel performances and team successes, they are in a class by themselves. When it comes to global fame and recognition however, consider this: A 1967 visit form Pele brought a two day ceasefire to Civil War in Nigeria. Until Michael Jordan mere presence halts a war, not even MJ can relate to life on Planet Pele.

• Cristiano Ronaldo (Portugal/ Manchester United) & Kobe Bryant (Los Angeles Lakers)- Both Kobe and Man U’s Cristiano Ronaldo are as talented as anyone in sports, accused, sometimes unfairly, of being excessively flashy and consumed with showing off their own individual skills. Hell, each was even accused (but never tried or convicted) of sexual assault in a hotel. Each brings amazing speed, quickness, and a flair for the spectacular to the game. Also, each has had a public conflict with a high profile teammate- Kobe’s well-publicized feud with Shaq and Ronaldo’s World Cup spat with England’s Wayne Rooney (his Man U teammate), which has since blown over. Selfish or not, these guys are overflowing with talent! The world's best at their respective games, Kobe and Cristiano Ronaldo are “Laugh out loud and text your buddies” good!

• Diego Maradona (Argentina) & Lawrence Taylor (New York Giants)- Two of the most talented players in the history of sports- both had several, and frequent, run-ins with cocaine (young, rich and famous in the 80s). What would these guys have done if they had never been introduced to cocaine? We’ll never know, but we do know that even with it, Maradona single-handedly won the 1986 World Cup for Argentina and became one of the two greatest players in soccer history and LT won 2 Super Bowls with the Giants and completely revolutionized the linebacker position.

• Johan Cruyff (Netherlands/Ajax/FC Barcelona) & Julius Erving (Philadelphia 76ers)- A pair of hard-luck heroes, each dominating in the 1970s and considered the greatest player of his generation. Unfortunately, each followed the "greatest ever" in his sport and preceded another "greatest ever". Cruyff preceded Argentine legend Diego Maradona and followed Pele, the King of international soccer. Dr. J’s dominance came on the heels of the Russell-Chamberlain era, was overshadowed by the Magic-Bird rivalry of the 1980s and came to an end as Michael Jordan (who patterned his game after Erving) was beginning to take off.

• George Best (Northern Ireland/ Manchester United) and “Pistol” Pete Maravich (New Orleans/Utah Jazz)- The most haunting comparison on this list. Two supremely talented, dazzling blurs on the field of play. Each man lived fast and fought his own lengthy battle with alcoholism. Each passed away prematurely. "Pistol" Pete Maravich died on January 5, 1988 from an existing heart condition; George Best, one of England's most transcendent and mythical players, died on November 25, 2005 from complications stemming from a liver transplant.

• Franz Beckenbauer (Germany/Bayern Munich) and Larry Bird (Boston Celtics)- Consummate professionals and champions. Beckenbauer led both club (Bayern Munich) and country (Germany) to soccer highest honors, as did Bird, winning 3 championships with Boston in the 1980s and an Olympic gold medal with the 1992 Dream Team. Far from the most athletic or spectacular players of their eras (i.e., slow and ground-bound), they were leaders whose only concern was winning and bringing the best out of their teammates.

• Paolo Maldini (Italy/AC Milan) and Elgin Baylor (Minneapolis/Los Angeles Lakers)- The Co-Presidents of the “retired too early” club. Each just missed his sport's highest honor. For all his club glory with AC Milan, Maldini was the defensive anchor of the Italian national team for the better of two decades before retiring from international play in 2002, just before Italy won the 2006 World Cup. Elgin Baylor retired form the Los Angeles Lakers nine games into 1971-72 season, ending his Hall of Fame career without a championship. The Lakers proceeded to win the next 33 games, set a record for regular season wins (broken by the 1996 Chicago Bulls) and won the NBA championship.